April.

Everyone must be so happy if their birthday month is coming. This feeling probably come from the gift and birthday wishes that they are going to received from their closest friend or family. I am trully honest that i am kinda miss this feeling. When i was a child, a little gift means a lot to me. But nowadays in my stand point now, i could not describe my feeling over it. I do not feel any degree of excitement to celebrate it. This is sound so classy but exams really takes over all my concern. I looked my schedule and how stressful it is when everyday you are demanded to study more than six hours. This time i require my self to catch up my subjects from beginning. It is fully my fault because i never pay attention to the lecturer at all. I know i deserve this anw so i am not gonna complain to anyone. Like i what i have said in my previous blog, this is my first time that i am not sure with my ability whether i will pass this exams or not. I did not say i am smart, but since elementary school till senior high i always placed in the top 10 students in class.  This year i take 4 subjects that based on people's argument and opinion they are really tough. Many friends asked me with such question are you seriously take that 4 subjects in one year? Unlike all the subjects that my programme offer, this 4 subjects require a comprehensive skill how to write a good essay. Moreover, you should be able to illustrate your understanding with practical example in your everyday life and give a good conclusion at the end of your essay. It cause me a lot of stress cause i need to fulfill all the examiner's high expectation in order to pass. The primary issue is language. It takes time when to transform what you think to what are you going to say in words. I just realized that it is severely hard for students who has a standard skill in english to pass this exams, only god who can help me to go through this situation.. I will strive as the best as i could anw, i will not give up. Last year i have already dissapointed my parents, so i will try better this year.

As im trying to avoid my birthday to come, but there is another side of me that i am really wish for this birthday . This year i will be twenty which is according to me it is quite important. It will be a year that i have to distinct my self from teenager being and move beyond that point and bring me to a different level of me. I promised to my self that i want to do something big this year. I have already organised roughly in my head starting from my summer course and photography thingy. I do not want to spend another year useless. Time is ticking sooo fast more than i've imagined. I am more motivated when i look around my surrounding and i have to face a reality that there are a lot of people in the same age as me and they are so success in their business. I hope i will do the same.

In this month, i also joined a photo competition promote by Docostore in Facebook. I did not plan to hand in my photo anyway, but it did not take the same if they're offering me an itouch! haha. So, after some consideration, i finally joined and submitted my photo. To be the first winner, you have to collect as many like as you can. I found out that stupid that photo competition is assesed by how many like that you get because it depicts a individual subjectivity. It supposed to be judged by the quantitiy and quality of the photo itself .  I am type of person who never asked for help, but because i am joining this competition i forced my self to miserrably begging to them to give me a thumbs up in my photo. I started with broadcasted message and facebook as media. The respond that my friend signalling to me were so vary! It is really friggin funny when your close friend, that you are expected to be the first one who help you- or to be someone who offering their hand- will do a way to different like you've imagined. But i learned something by joining these competition that i am too easy to label them as friend.

And i would pick maroon5 and lionking as my sweetest ending in this month. :)