I repost this post cos i simply like the way he describes his life.
Hope you guys like it too.
Happy reading
Below
is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who is a 40-year-old
millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer but
selflessly came to share with the D1 class his life experience on
19-Jan-2012. He has just passed away few days ago on 18 October 2012.
Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse, so please bear
with me. I thought I'll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I'm a
medical doctor. And I thought I'll just share some thoughts of my life.
It's my pleasure to be invited by prof. Hopefully, it can get you
thinking about how... as you pursue this.. embarking on your training to
become dental surgeons, to think about other things as well.
Since young, I am a typical product of today's society. Relatively
successful product that society requires.. From young, I came from a
below average family. I was told by the media... and people around me
that happiness is about success. And that success is about being
wealthy. With this mind-set, I've always be extremely competitive, since
I was young.
Not only do I need to go to the top school, I
need to have success in all fields. Uniform groups, track, everything. I
needed to get trophies, needed to be successful, I needed to have
colours award, national colours award, everything. So I was highly
competitive since young. I went on to medical school, graduated as a
doctor. Some of you may know that within the medical faculty,
ophthalmology is one of the most highly sought after specialities. So I
went after that as well. I was given a traineeship in ophthalmology, I
was also given a research scholarship by NUS to develop lasers to treat
the eye.
So in the process, I was given 2 patents, one for the
medical devices, and another for the lasers. And you know what, all
this academic achievements did not bring me any wealth. So once I
completed my bond with MOH, I decided that this is taking too long, the
training in eye surgery is just taking too long. And there's lots of
money to be made in the private sector. If you're aware, in the last few
years, there is this rise in aesthetic medicine. Tons of money to be
made there. So I decided, well, enough of staying in institution, it's
time to leave. So I quit my training halfway and I went on to set up my
aesthetic clinic... in town, together with a day surgery centre.
You know the irony is that people do not make heroes out average GP
(general practitioner), family physicians. They don't. They make heroes
out of people who are rich and famous. People who are not happy to pay
$20 to see a GP, the same person have no qualms paying ten thousand
dollars for a liposuction, 15 thousand dollars for a breast
augmentation, and so on and so forth. So it's a no brainer isn't? Why do
you want to be a gp? Become an aesthetic physician. So instead of
healing the sick and ill, I decided that I'll become a glorified
beautician. So, business was good, very good. It started off with
waiting of one week, then became 3weeks, then one month, then 2 months,
then 3 months. I was overwhelmed; there were just too many patients.
Vanities are fantastic business. I employed one doctor, the second
doctor, the 3rd doctor, the 4th doctor. And within the 1st year, we're
already raking in millions. Just the 1st year. But never is enough
because I was so obsessed with it. I started to expand into Indonesia to
get all the rich Indonesian tai-tais who wouldn't blink an eye to have a
procedure done. So life was really good.
So what do I do with
the spare cash. How do I spend my weekends? Typically, I'll have car
club gatherings. I take out my track car, with spare cash I got myself a
track car. We have car club gatherings. We'll go up to Sepang in
Malaysia. We'll go for car racing. And it was my life. With other spare
cash, what do i do? I get myself a Ferrari. At that time, the 458 wasn't
out, it's just a spider convertible, 430. This is a friend of mine, a
schoolmate who is a forex trader, a banker. So he got a red one, he was
wanting all along a red one, I was getting the silver one.
So
what do I do after getting a car? It's time to buy a house, to build our
own bungalows. So we go around looking for a land to build our own
bungalows, we went around hunting. So how do i live my life? Well, we
all think we have to mix around with the rich and famous. This is one of
the Miss Universe. So we hang around with the beautiful, rich and
famous. This by the way is an internet founder. So this is how we spend
our lives, with dining and all the restaurants and Michelin Chefs you
know.
So I reach a point in life that I got everything for my
life. I was at the pinnacle of my career and all. That's me one year ago
in the gym and I thought I was like, having everything under control
and reaching the pinnacle.
Well, I was wrong. I didn't have
everything under control. About last year March, I started to develop
backache in the middle of nowhere. I thought maybe it was all the heavy
squats I was doing. So I went to SGH, saw my classmate to do an MRI, to
make sure it's not a slipped disc or anything. And that evening, he
called me up and said that we found bone marrow replacement in your
spine. I said, sorry what does that mean? I mean I know what it means,
but I couldn't accept that. I was like “Are you serious?” I was still
running around going to the gym you know. But we had more scans the next
day, PET scans - positrons emission scans, they found that actually I
have stage 4 terminal lung cancer. I was like "Whoa where did that come
from?” It has already spread to the brain, the spine, the liver and the
adrenals. And you know one moment I was there, totally thinking that I
have everything under control, thinking that I've reached the pinnacle
of my life. But the next moment, I have just lost it.
This is a
CT scan of the lungs itself. If you look at it, every single dot there
is a tumour. We call this miliaries tumour. And in fact, I have tens of
thousands of them in the lungs. So, I was told that even with
chemotherapy, that I'll have about 3-4months at most. Did my life come
crushing on, of course it did, who wouldn't? I went into depression, of
course, severe depression and I thought I had everything.
See
the irony is that all these things that I have, the success, the
trophies, my cars, my house and all. I thought that brought me
happiness. But i was feeling really down, having severe depression.
Having all these thoughts of my possessions, they brought me no joy. The
thought of... You know, I can hug my Ferrari to sleep, no... No, it is
not going to happen. It brought not a single comfort during my last ten
months. And I thought they were, but they were not true happiness. But
it wasn't. What really brought me joy in the last ten months was
interaction with people, my loved ones, friends, people who genuinely
care about me, they laugh and cry with me, and they are able to identify
the pain and suffering I was going through. That brought joy to me,
happiness. None of the things I have, all the possessions, and I thought
those were supposed to bring me happiness. But it didn't, because if it
did, I would have felt happy think about it, when I was feeling most
down..
You know the classical Chinese New Year that is coming
up. In the past, what do I do? Well, I will usually drive my flashy car
to do my rounds, visit my relatives, to show it off to my friends. And I
thought that was joy, you know. I thought that was really joy. But do
you really think that my relatives and friends, whom some of them have
difficulty trying to make ends meet, that will truly share the joy with
me? Seeing me driving my flashy car and showing off to them? No, no way.
They won’t be sharing joy with me. They were having problems trying to
make ends meet, taking public transport. In fact i think, what I have
done is more like you know, making them envious, jealous of all I have.
In fact, sometimes even hatred.
Those are what we call objects
of envy. I have them, I show them off to them and I feel it can fill my
own pride and ego. That didn't bring any joy to these people, to my
friends and relatives, and I thought they were real joy.
Well,
let me just share another story with you. You know when I was about
your age, I stayed in king Edward VII hall. I had this friend whom I
thought was strange. Her name is Jennifer, we're still good friends. And
as I walk along the path, she would, if she sees a snail, she would
actually pick up the snail and put it along the grass patch. I was like
why do you need to do that? Why dirty your hands? It’s just a snail. The
truth is she could feel for the snail. The thought of being crushed to
death is real to her, but to me it's just a snail. If you can't get out
of the pathway of humans then you deserve to be crushed, it’s part of
evolution isn't it? What an irony isn't it?
There I was being
trained as a doctor, to be compassionate, to be able to empathise; but I
couldn't. As a house officer, I graduated from medical school, posted
to the oncology department at NUH. And, every day, every other day I
witness death in the cancer department. When I see how they suffered, I
see all the pain they went through. I see all the morphine they have to
press every few minutes just to relieve their pain. I see them
struggling with their oxygen breathing their last breath and all. But it
was just a job. When I went to clinic every day, to the wards every
day, take blood, give the medication but was the patient real to me?
They weren't real to me. It was just a job, I do it, I get out of the
ward, I can't wait to get home, I do my own stuff.
Was the
pain, was the suffering the patients went through real? No. Of course I
know all the medical terms to describe how they feel, all the suffering
they went through. But in truth, I did not know how they feel, not until
I became a patient. It is until now; I truly understand how they feel.
And, if you ask me, would I have been a very different doctor if I were
to re-live my life now, I can tell you yes I will. Because I truly
understand how the patients feel now. And sometimes, you have to learn
it the hard way.
Even as you start just your first year, and
you embark this journey to become dental surgeons, let me just challenge
you on two fronts.
Inevitably, all of you here will start to
go into private practice. You will start to accumulate wealth. I can
guarantee you. Just doing an implant can bring you thousands of dollars,
it's fantastic money. And actually there is nothing wrong with being
successful, with being rich or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong. The
only trouble is that a lot of us like myself couldn't handle it.
Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate, the more I have,
the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like
what I showed you earlier on, all I can was basically to get more
possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did to us, of what
society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really
mattered to me. Patients were just a source of income, and I tried to
squeeze every single cent out of these patients.
A lot of
times we forget, whom we are supposed to be serving. We become so lost
that we serve nobody else but just ourselves. That was what happened to
me. Whether it is in the medical, the dental fraternity, I can tell you,
right now in the private practice, sometimes we just advise patients on
treatment that is not indicated. Grey areas. And even though it is not
necessary, we kind of advocate it. Even at this point, I know who are my
friends and who genuinely cared for me and who are the ones who try to
make money out of me by selling me "hope". We kind of lose our moral
compass along the way. Because we just want to make money.
Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we bad mouth our fellow
colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry. We have no qualms
about it. So if we can put them down to give ourselves an advantage, we
do it. And that's what happening right now, medical, dental everywhere.
My challenge to you is not to lose that moral compass. I learnt it the
hard way, I hope you don't ever have to do it.
Secondly, a lot
of us will start to get numb to our patients as we start to practise.
Whether is it government hospitals, private practice, I can tell you
when I was in the hospital, with stacks of patient folders, I can't wait
to get rid of those folders as soon as possible; I can't wait to get
patients out of my consultation room as soon as possible because there
is just so many, and that's a reality. Because it becomes a job, a very
routine job. And this is just part of it. Do I truly know how the
patient feels back then? No, I don't. The fears and anxiety and all, do I
truly understand what they are going through? I don't, not until when
this happens to me and I think that is one of the biggest flaws in our
system.
We’re being trained to be healthcare providers,
professional, and all and yet we don't know how exactly they feel. I'm
not asking you to get involved emotionally, I don't think that is
professional but do we actually make a real effort to understand their
pain and all? Most of us won’t, alright, I can assure you. So don't lose
it, my challenge to you is to always be able to put yourself in your
patient's shoes.
Because the pain, the anxiety, the fear are
very real even though it's not real to you, it's real to them. So don't
lose it and you know, right now I'm in the midst of my 5th cycle of my
chemotherapy. I can tell you it’s a terrible feeling. Chemotherapy is
one of those things that you don't wish even your enemies to go through
because it's just suffering, lousy feeling, throwing out, you don't even
know if you can retain your meals or not. Terrible feeling! And even
with whatever little energy now I have, I try to reach out to other
cancer patients because I truly understand what pain and suffering is
like. But it's kind of little too late and too little.
You guys
have a bright future ahead of you with all the resource and energy, so
I’m going to challenge you to go beyond your immediate patients. To
understand that there are people out there who are truly in pain, truly
in hardship. Don’t get the idea that only poor people suffer. It is not
true. A lot of these poor people do not have much in the first place,
they are easily contented. for all you know they are happier than you
and me but there are out there, people who are suffering mentally,
physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and so on and so forth,
and they are real. We choose to ignore them or we just don't want to
know that they exist.
So do think about it alright, even as
you go on to become professionals and dental surgeons and all. That you
can reach out to these people who are in need. Whatever you do can make a
large difference to them. I'm now at the receiving end so I know how it
feels, someone who genuinely care for you, encourage and all. It makes a
lot of difference to me. That’s what happens after treatment. I had a
treatment recently, but I’ll leave this for another day. A lot of things
happened along the way, that's why I am still able to talk to you
today.
I'll just end of with this quote here, it's from this
book called Tuesdays with Morris, and some of you may have read it.
Everyone knows that they are going to die; every one of us knows that.
The truth is, none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things
differently. When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off
all stuff totally and I focused only on what is essential. The irony is
that a lot of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how to
live. I know it sounds very morbid for this morning but it's the truth,
this is what I’m going through.
Don’t let society tell you how
to live. Don’t let the media tell you what you're supposed to do. Those
things happened to me. And I led this life thinking that these are
going to bring me happiness. I hope that you will think about it and
decide for yourself how you want to live your own life. Not according to
what other people tell you to do, and you have to decide whether you
want to serve yourself, whether you are going to make a difference in
somebody else's life. Because true happiness doesn't come from serving
yourself. I thought it was but it didn't turn out that way. With that I
thank you.
